Being a great leader depends on being a strong communicator. But communication is a two-way street. Rather than focusing solely on how you convey your messages to your team, you should take some time to develop skills that will allow you to listen louder than you speak.
Too Often, Talking Takes Priority
It’s a common thing to see in business meetings: team participants focused mostly on their notes or computers, carefully crafting the next thing they want to say. Coworkers talk over one another or even shout to make their positions heard. Team leaders may make declarations about expectations and goals as top-down directives that must be followed. In each of these cases, talking has taken priority over listening, and communication has already broken down.
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True communication goes both ways. Think of communication like the muscles on your arm: talking is the bicep, forcing the arm to move, but listening is the tricep, equally necessary to straighten the arm and hold it in place. Both muscles are necessary to make the arm strong and effective. If the bicep is exercised while the tricep is not, the arm will be weaker for it.
Communication is the same way. Business leaders receiving training in communication skills often focus on their ability to speak clearly and impactfully, and make compelling presentations. But that is just one part of the communication whole. To be truly effective communicators, leaders need to hone their listening skills as well as their ability to speak.
Listening Makes You a Better Leader
In the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey said “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Very few people, including leaders, fully commit to listening to the people they are in communication with. They may ignore the conversation, tune in only to prepare a response, or nod along rather than process the point being made.
Leaders need to break those habits and learn to listen louder than they speak. As a leader, making listening a priority communicates to your team that you:
- Value the team members’ opinions as part of the group’s collaborative effort
- Respect their time by making space for them to voice their perspective
- Are willing to entertain multiple points of view
- Have the self-confidence to remain silent while someone else is speaking, even when you disagree
- Respect team members’ different perspectives and experiences and how they can inform the group’s decision making
- Can be persuaded to change your mind
In these ways, silence can speak louder than a litany of half-improvised ideas, because it emphasizes the group over the individual, and invites the rest of your team to be part of the conversation.
5 Tips to Become a Better Listener
Not everyone has strong active listening skills when they take on a leadership role. If you find yourself unable to meaningfully listen to what your team is telling you, or tend to forget or misinterpret their meaning soon after the conversation is over, you may need to exercise your listening muscles a little more by developing better techniques to listen to those around you.
Commit to the Conversation
In the modern world it is far too easy to multitask and grow distracted. A notification on your phone can pull you away from an in-person discussion. Maybe you are juggling three different message conversations at once. To become a better listener, make a habit of uni-tasking: doing one thing at a time, and committing to being fully present in the conversation you are having. By eliminating or postponing distractions, you can commit more of your attention to the discussion at hand, and better process what is being said around you.
Understand Your Own Assumptions
You likely have your own opinions about any conversation you are having. But if you do not understand your own biases and assumptions, they can interfere with your ability to listen and comprehend what a team member is telling you. Challenge your own assumptions and try to reframe their issue as your own to make yourself more receptive.
Stay Open to New Ideas
Similarly, it can be easy to reject new ideas, especially when they come to you in untraditional ways, simply because they are unexpected or different. Develop strategies to hold yourself open to different viewpoints and perspectives, and question whether your objections are objective and practical, or simply a resistance to change. Make sure you have a reason before rejecting a new option, and listen to the reasons your team members are putting forward to support the change.
Empathize with the Speaker
Emotional intelligence plays a role in effective listening, too. Empathic listening means making an emotional connection to the person who is speaking. It involves putting yourself in the speaker’s position and understanding how they feel about the situation. Allowing yourself to empathize with your team members make them feel heard, even if you later disagree with them. It can also improve your comprehension of their positions, and where they are coming from.
Ask Questions to Gain Clarity
It is common to assume that you understand what someone is saying to you. But how often has conflict arisen simply because of a misunderstanding? To reduce this conflict, take time during the conversation to make sure you understand your team members’ perspectives. Mirror what they are saying back to them, with statements like “what I am hearing you say is…” or “does this mean you want …” As questions to clarify their position, and close any gaps in communication.
Develop Your Leadership Listening Skills
You don’t have to be born a strong communicator to make listening a priority in your leadership. Communication skills can be learned and developed over time. With the help of an executive coach, you can hone your active listening and emotional intelligence skills so that you can listen louder than you speak. By making yourself receptive to those around you, you can raise your team to new heights of collaboration and success.
David Stanislaw and Karen Sherwood are leadership and executive coaches with 70 years of combined experience. Together, they apply their psychodynamic training and extensive experience to help leaders, business owners, and employees develop skills and facilitate change. Contact us to meet with Stanislaw Consulting today.
This post was written by a human without the use of AI. Stanislaw Consulting does not consent to the use of its online content to train large language models or other forms of artificial intelligence.
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