Business owners and employees alike are often focused on trying to resolve conflict in the workplace. But not every fight needs to be won. Knowing how and when to back away from conflict in business can be key to effective team management, and in making your workplace a more effective and pleasant place to be.
You Generally Shouldn’t Avoid Conflict at Work
Few people enjoy the feeling of being in conflict with a coworker or team member. When disputes arise, it is common to want to back away and avoid drawing attention to yourself or challenging the status quo. But conflict avoidance is actually a sign of broader organizational dysfunction within working teams.
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Unresolved conflict can build resentment between coworkers and interfere with team collaboration and functioning. Conflict avoidance is a common coping mechanism, especially when team members distrust the company’s conflict resolution policy or practices. But conflict is a necessary part of problem-solving in business. If your team is unwilling to grapple with the hard questions, it means you will not be able to find the best solutions for your clients and your company as a whole.
When to Back Away from Workplace Conflict
But that does not mean you need to fully engage in every instance of workplace conflict as soon as it arises. It may be best to back away from workplace conflict:
When the Issue Is Unrelated to Work
There are many issues that can arise between coworkers that have nothing to do with work. Emotionally charged issues like politics, religion, or even sports can create conflict among team members, but reaching consensus may be unproductive, or even impossible. When you identify the source of a dispute that is unrelated to the work you are doing, it is best to back away from the conflict, and agree that each person can have their own perspectives, without bringing those disputes to the workplace.
Before Each Participant Has Had Time to Think the Issue Through
Surprise can lead to increased conflict. If one or more team members are surprised with a complicated or emotionally charged issue, it can result in unnecessary conflict. Often, by making sure each participant has time to think through a problem, you can avoid unnecessary conflict and focus on the disagreements and different approaches that will make the biggest impact on your business.
When Emotions Run High
If you and your team members feel strongly about an issue, it can be easy for emotions to run high. People who are angry are more likely to say hurtful things, making the conflict worse. If a dispute is worth resolving, it is worth taking the time to make certain everyone involved can come at it with a cool head. Rather than pushing ahead in a heightened emotional state, it is better to back away from the conflict and return at a set date and time when everyone has had a chance to process those feelings.
When the Timing is Wrong
There are good times and bad times to have difficult conversations. When team members are pressed up against a deadline, trying to get out the door, or even hungry, it can cause valid disagreements to bloom into hostile conflict. Choosing when to address conflict is essential to reaching a meaningful solution.
That is not to say that these kinds of conflict should be allowed to fester. It is best to work with a neutral facilitator to mediate these disputes in a safe place, using techniques that ensure that each party to the conflict feels heard, respected, and involved in reaching a successful outcome.
How to Choose Your Battles in Business
Disagreements over project goals and company values are generally worth the work to resolve. Conflict based on principles and priorities come from a shared desire to improve – either as individuals, or as the company itself. Leaning into these kinds of conflicts can be productive and lead to deeper cooperation and more innovative outcomes.
However, it may be better to back away from conflict resulting from interpersonal differences or pressures outside of your workplace. For example, if a person is confrontational because of challenges at home, pushing that person will generally only make matters worse. Backing away from these kinds of conflicts at work can be respectful of coworkers’ needs and allow you and your coworkers to focus on your work without distraction.
Knowing when to back away from conflict and when to lean into conflict resolution is the key to acting with emotional intelligence and sensitivity at work. If you or your team find yourselves bogged down in endless conflicts or unable to move past disputes, working with an organizational development specialist can help. Hiring an outside professional can help you prioritize the right kind of conflict and develop strategies to productively resolve it.
David Stanislaw is an organizational development specialist with over 25 years’ experience helping leaders develop management skills. Through conflict resolution training and facilitation, David helps business owners dissolve workplace toxicity and resolve interoffice conflict. Contact us to meet with David and develop a plan to improve your company’s emotional intelligence.
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