Working without conflict may be the dream for many employees, especially those stuck in a toxic work environment. But this fantasy is based on a very narrow view of what conflict is. Conflict affects and sometimes even improves productivity, collaboration, and even happiness at work. Rather than spending time wishing for a conflict-free working environment, here are some ways to make conflict work for you.
Why You Fantasize About Working Without Conflict
It’s no surprise so many employees share a fantasy of working without conflict. Disputes and conflict are uncomfortable. It does not feel good to be at odds with someone you interact with regularly. Unresolved conflict can build stress and resentment among coworkers, which in turn can make it harder to care about your work, perform at a high level, and even continue coming in day after day. You may find yourself taking more time off or even looking at new jobs just to get away from the discomfort of ongoing conflict.
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Conflict is Part of Work
In truth, working without conflict is a fantasy. That is because conflict is everywhere. It is a natural part of life, both internal conflict and interpersonal disputes. You experience conflict every time you struggle to plan your day, set priorities, or resist impulses and procrastination. Conflict with coworkers includes everything from disagreements over the office lunch order to standing up for company values. Most interpersonal conflict is unimportant and passes quickly. But what many people don’t realize is that conflict can also be constructive, like when you and your team members strategize on how best to do your work and meet your goals.
How to Make Conflict Work For Your Team
Rather than focusing on working without conflict, if you want to relieve stress at work, focus on finding ways to make conflict work for your team, instead of against it. Remember that collaboration and conflict are not opposites. Instead, collaboration is the process of team members working through conflict to build a better product or improve services. Without divergent thought and differences of opinion (two forms of conflict!), your project will not be able to move forward.
Working without conflict is a fantasy because it assumes forward progress will occur without any of the friction and traction it takes to gain that momentum. Team leaders, managers, and even coworkers, all share a responsibility to provide a safe space for team members to voice disagreements, work through problems, and come to a consensus going forward. Your goal shouldn’t be to work without conflict. Rather it should be to focus on the kinds of conflict that drive business forward.
What to Do When Conflict Interferes with Your Working Environment
This isn’t to say that you will never face negative or destructive conflict at work. Sometimes people’s home lives will affect their work, or you will have a personality conflict with someone on your team. Other times, differences in employees’ personal morality or priorities may clash with the company’s values and goals. When these things happen, you need to have a conflict resolution plan.
The larger your employer, the more likely it is to have a formal corporate conflict resolution policy. A well-drafted policy can be used as a roadmap to show you what to do when conflict interferes with your working environment, or you find yourself unable to move past a dispute with a coworker. Use your company’s policy to identify who to talk to, and how to document the problem, how it is affecting your work, and your suggestions for how to solve it.
In smaller companies, individual employees can make all the difference in finding healthy ways to resolve conflict at work. Once again, this can be internal or interpersonal.
As an individual, you can develop your personal resilience, allowing offenses to roll off rather than creating ongoing disputes. You can also strengthen your emotional intelligence, which will make it easier to listen to your coworkers’ perspectives, understand their positions, empathize with their needs, and ultimately reach resolution.
However, when two (or more) coworkers are unable to resolve disputes on their own, working without conflict often depends on the help of a supervisor, conflict resolution specialist, or objective facilitator to help. These professionals have training in conflict resolution strategies that can help both you and your coworkers take an objective view of the dispute, identify your deep assumptions and unstated priorities, and find a resolution that both sides can endorse. By focusing on conflict resolution rather than avoiding conflict altogether, these facilitators can help you avoid giving into the fantasy of wishing for a conflict-free workplace and instead help you find practical ways to make inevitable conflict work for you.
David Stanislaw is an organizational development specialist with over 25 years’ experience helping leaders develop management skills. Through conflict resolution training and facilitation, David helps business owners dissolve workplace toxicity and resolve interoffice conflict. Contact us to meet with David and develop a plan to improve your company’s emotional intelligence.
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