Emotional honesty is an essential part of building strong collaboration and fostering productivity in the workplace. But how do you know if your team is being honest with you about their emotions? What can you, as a team leader, do to encourage openness and support your employees’ emotional health?
Emotional honesty is an essential part of building strong collaboration and fostering productivity in the workplace. But how do you know if your team is being honest with you about their emotions? What can you, as a team leader, do to encourage openness and support your employees’ emotional health?
Is Stoicism Hurting Your Business?
Many traditional businessmen – and women too – believe that the only way to remain professional is to put on a “stiff upper lip.” They may strive to appear stoic, unaffected by even the toughest obstacles at work. Why? Because they have learned that appearing emotional is a sign of weakness. They may believe that if they let their façade crack, showing their emotions, their teammates, competitors, and even colleagues may think less of them or take advantage of them.
But this kind of emotional dishonesty is bad for business. By suppressing their emotional responses, stoic employees are putting themselves at higher risk of burnout. Also, if no one in the company knows they are struggling it removes the possibility of someone removing the obstacles from their path, sharing their workload, or adjusting project expectations. By suffering in silence, these employees are allowing the problems they face – including interpersonal problems – to linger, rather than trusting their team leaders to smooth the way for them.
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How to Tell if Your Team is Being Honest with You About Their Emotions
Most often, if your team isn’t being honest with you about their emotions it will look like everyone is quietly content, even in the face of difficulty. They may deny that anything is wrong or go out of their way to reassure you that “they’ve got this.”
Often, you can discover emotional dishonesty by taking a close look at employee behaviors:
- Is absenteeism high?
- Is productivity down?
- Do certain team members avoid working together?
- Is there a culture of gossip or complaining outside formal settings?
- Do you tend to learn about problems second-hand?
All of these are indicators of emotional dishonesty at work. In fact, a surface-level contentment is often masking conflict avoidance. Your employees may be afraid of the consequences of exposing their emotions.
What Leaders Can Do to Promote Emotional Honesty
Ultimately, this tendency not to be honest about their emotions comes down to trust. Employees need to believe that they can express unhappiness, concern, and even anger with difficult situations without putting their reputation or job on the line. And they learn that from you – their team leader.
Emotional honesty doesn’t imply weakness, but it does require a degree of vulnerability. As a leader, you need to both model that vulnerability in your own actions and protect your employees when they express it. This may involve:
- Publicly voicing positive feelings toward employees’ work that is well done.
- Expressing frustration with unforeseen delays (not with the workers experiencing them).
- Welcoming critical feedback on your ideas and engaging in dialog about alternatives.
- Empathizing with employees’ emotional expressions.
- Taking a firm stand against mistreatment, workplace bullying, and retaliation against coworkers.
- Promptly addressing interpersonal disputes when they arise.
- Requesting feedback from team members both publicly and privately.
- Being sensitive to the emotions caused by bad news or calls for improvement.
All of these are expressions of emotional intelligence – a key tool for effective team leadership. Not every leader steps into the job with a high emotional intelligence. However, with coaching and practice, you can adopt new policies and personal practices that will build your employees trust and encourage them to be honest with you about their emotions.
David Stanislaw is a leadership and executive coach with over 30 years’ experience helping managers and leaders manage teams effectively through emotional intelligence and strategic modeling. Contact us to meet with David and start building your emotional intelligence today.
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